Wretched

Did former Premier Mahathir saw it as a brazen attempt by his once protege to dismantle his legacy? Even so, what does a legacy mean to a leader, a former one alright. The idea of a visible legacy has been around as long as the idea of leadership has been practised. Did those leaders meant to preserve their past, their individual histories, illustrious in their own right and immortalise them for many generations to come? Isn't history best left as distant memories left to be regaled by words of mouth, communicated down genealogical trees verbally?

Equally human, yet i feel that my past leave much to be desired. It haunts me so I am sure that those are not figments of my imagination. It does lurks at every unsuspecting corner, at every seemingly harmless nook and cranny. Just by letting my guard down, i do risk myself to an open onslaught of bad memories. Things i rather be long forgotten, hidden in some virtual annals in my heart and stowed away. Never to be read.Never.

I feel weak. "Feeble" as i have learnt to describe it aptly. Is there really a way to avail myself of this mess?

Don't ever accuse me of running away...

I have never been able to too... It remains in glaring view no matter where i go, even when i close my eyes...

I just...I just... I just feel that i have been betrayed and abandoned...