It is the day of the week again. Wednesday, a day when Eric was allowed to just catch a whiff of civilised living only to find himself trotting back to wretched Mt Barebones. Well, it's better than nothing anyway he thought as he laid his tired frame across his bed idly. A slight breeze coursed through the dingy room and Eric was for a moment, mildly amused with his hung uniform yawning sideways at the window.
What is everybody doing now? He eventually concluded that everyone else should be up to something productive unlike himself. Then out of a sudden, his slew of mundane thoughts were disturbed by a buzz. A nasty looking wasp darted from the corner of the window towards the empty adjacent to Eric. In military fashion, the little gnat circled for a few rounds in the air presumably, keeping a look out for potential adversaries. Obviously the pesky insect thought that Eric posed zero danger.
It was a miscalculation that the wasp was going to pay... dearly
After that aerial display of acrobatics, the little flying clown doved out of view. Being the only occupant in the room at that time, Eric maintained silence and began to manoeuvred stealthily towards the miniscule intruder. Despite the overwhelming combat odds stacked against the wasp, Eric remembered vestiges of the old tale, "David and Goliath". Never really expecting a slingshot though, Eric armed himself with his combat boots and advanced further. Just before he was about to make a further move, he started to toy with the idea of employing chemical warfare against the bugger. So, he doubled back and exchanged his admin boots for his underutilised parade boots. You see, the parade boots were caked richly with a potent layer of dust. In theory, when the boots smash downwards against the bugger like a slegehammer, the layer of dust is supposed to disperse in a deadly spray of smoke, guaranteed to seal the intruder's fate.
With his new weapon, albeit rudimentary, Eric advanced and his heart quivered with excitement at the prospect of a skirmish ahead. Initial observations placed the area of operations to be no bigger than a matchbox. To his horror though, the intruder was discovered to have set up a base camp i.e. a wasp nest. Which implies that the trespassing had taken place numerous time. Unforgiveable!
The battle development was totaly out of Eric's calculations. Apparently, the bugger had a keen sense of awareness. Before he could make any further offensive actions, the little gnat launched a pre-emptive attack on Eric. The small form factor of the insect granted it unparalled agility and on the other hand, the combat boots were too unwieldy to swing with dexterity at the airborne adversary. The combat boots were quickly forsaken in favour of plastic slippers. After a series of exchanges, the wasp was downed with a resounding SLAP! Squashed beyond recognition. Primary objective completed. Now for the secondary objective i.e. the wasp nest. This time around, the dust caked pair of boots was the apt weapon. With a deafening crash and an equally imposing and rising mushroom cloud of dust, the nest was demolished to smithereens.
Within the protective confines of the nest were squeamish looking green maggots. These were unceremoniously swept up and flushed down the water closet.
The victors shall bury their dead while the losers rot where they fall. Such is the tradition of war.
No comments:
Post a Comment