I have come to realise that the people around me often give me a gasp literally when i least expect it. In an inoculous conversation, a casual off the cuff remark or simply a cliff hanger message in my tagboard. I was talking with Tara on the train on Saturady night when she told me something. Something which really struck me.
It's about Urong. The sensation i had then was akin to a person sustaining a cut and becoming conscious to the physical pain of the wound only after he has taken visual cue of the site of injury. I recalled that i was an oasis of calm when i received that ubiquitous sms from Urong.
Hospitalised... weak breathing... relapse of heart murmur... Hopefully i can still see you guys
It was as if i have lost the basic ability to comprehend words. I just couldn't visualise and accept that once again Urong was vaguely near the vulgar threshold of Death. Even when i was at his bedside, i was unstirred. The mind is unfathomable.
And yet, only after six days. It came late by almost a week. The panic rush descended on me like hailstones. Almost on cue after Tara related to me her opinion of Urong. Heaven knows how i managed to maintain a calm demeanour in the carriage after that.
I am losing what little understanding i have of myself.
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