My 2005

A kaleidoscopic year

My 2005 went by in a blur alright. Despite being in NS, my life was still thankfully awashed in a myriad of colours. But one thing i'm sure for is that i practically drifted in the year like an invertebrate. Frequently i would find myself immersed in memories of the past, floundering and dazed. Sometimes it was so bad that i thought that i might be locked away in my own surreal world for good.

Blur

Though i'm still unable to get over my resentment of my commitment, i have managed to take another perspective on my predicament. Going through BMT alone has led me in understanding what my father went through so far in his 35 years of service... If what i'm experiencing now is nothing then perhaps this provides an inkling of what he might have gone through...

It's somewhat strange but i felt in the middle of this peculiar year that something awoke within me. A reawakening of something that might have lain dormant or haven't seen daylight through my eyes since i was born. Recent flashbacks of old memories seems to lend testimony to this fervent belief of mine. This series of visual deluges may have some meaning to me of which i have yet to decipher.

Like its predecessors, 2005 has brought to me its fair share of dark days. I'm sure that i would like some of these dark days to remain banished in the dark abyss of my mind, never to resurface again in my conscious. All because they hurt even at mere thought...

There were many times, too many to be precise when i really wanted to go back in time. To relive it all. To salvage what i though ought not to be as Time present to me now. But would a second stab at opportunity change the course of nature? Perhaps it's just foolish thinking on my part, a mere pining for nostalgia which is understable for ordinary mortals such as I.

Perhaps my main takeaway from the year two thousand and five should be that i mustn't take things for granted. Did i?