I dont think i am a very enthusiastic person nowadays. It isn't very often that i actually get to the stage where i launch the enterprise itself. Much of these remain mothballed at the conceptual stage. Perhaps it is a lack of intellectual know-how, maybe it is due to my half-heartedness I dont have a clue really. This very blog could serve as a prime example. If you ever have an opportunity to delve into my list of posts, you could easily see that there are many posts destined never to see the light of the day, shelved as drafts.
So you now know that it rather difficult for i contemplate and deliberate quite a bit before an enterprise of mine is launched. Then, there are matters to contend once the initiative is afloat. If i am lucky, all it takes is some input from my side and the thing is pretty much working on its own, autonomous. I don't like nitty gritty details but that is not to say, that i mind plumbing the murky depths of things to find out what goes wrong for instance. I dont. Being a macro manager is more like my kind of style rather than being a micro granny, sticking my wiry arms into every area.
What if Lady Luck wasn't smiling on me that day? Then i suppose inertia sets in and eventually the whole thing fizzles out. It may seem like a straightforward thing to try to resuscitate it if necessary. I used to think so. It was unintendedly a display of my determination. Intentionally, it was to prove a point. Maybe that's a glimpse of my competitive side.
But now i guess things are a bit more complex now. I dont really see the point of having to prove a point all the time. Maybe when it really does matters, when things are stake are crucial, then i will. If not, i think it is time to take a backseat and switch to a lower gear for a more relaxed drive. I doubt i will be able to tame the beast in me but i guess it will grow old with time.
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