The next step

Despite my self-professing loathing of Mt Barebones, I can't avoid admitting that it is indeed a sanctuary of calm that shelters me from the crazy world out there. The insane dog eat dog world filled with dreadful rat races. I had a conversation with Urong san a week ago and we dwelled in depth about our impending varsity enrolment as well as our plans to secure a job in the transition period between our ORD and enrolment. I knew a very long time ago that the real world outside is bleak. Once I start stripping it of its thin veneer of deception along with the wondrous facade of shopping malls, lazy afternoons as well as pensive evenings spent on the beach, I realise that all that exist within is a cold hard shell that is devoid of feelings.

Well, I never gave much hope that the world wouldn't be what it really is. It's just that merely envisaging Ground Zero is totally different from surveying from a first person persepctive. I've got cold feet as I enter into my final month of service and yet evening after evening lapse with me doing absolutely nothing constructive. One part of me wish to stand up and start doing up resumes, job applications and scour through job listings. Yet, there is a part of me that just want to face away from the world and continue the pretense. How many times were you able to jump right off the bed the moment you gain consciousness from sleep?

That Mt Barebones had been subservient enough to function as a sanctuary for me, I am really at a loss as to whether I should say a big Thank You or should i curse it for allowing me to remain in my dreamy ways. I've never saw myself as a wishy washy person who indulges in dreaming all day long but I might have gotten all flaccid in the head after so long here. Right. It's time to regain the initiative and to be on the offensive.

Urong's candid talk pretty much shook me up too. That he had already started thinking about his strengths and weaknesses as a contender on the job market, really goes very far to prove that I am well far behind. Heck, he's even applied for a position as a relief teacher in MOE while I am just stuck in a moment that I can't get out of...

Enough ranting... It's time to do something productive which is for once tangible and not nebulous!

C'mon... wake up or you will soon regret it...