Your choice?

I saw her blog again, less than a minute ago...

Sometimes i wonder whether the present arrangement suits us fine. As much as my mind will like to, I know that it's simply unpractical for us to remain as friends. I know and she knows that, one day we might drift too close together for comfort. So as it turns out, the icy gulf that now exist between us may be as useful as partitions separating erstwhile friendly neighbours.

When I was driving along Towner Road early on Sunday morning, I wondered if there was a sliver of a chance where she might be spotted gazing out of her window as part of her usual insomnia ritual. Tough luck. As expected, I maintained my sight rigidly forward and forcibly restrained myself from looking in that direction. In any case, something told me that she wasn't there for sure. Still, the feelings that enveloped me when I took in the familiar sights of Boon Keng were no longer as intoxicating and overwhelming as compared to last Christmas.

It was so close then (last christmas). I felt like a hunter traversing the depths of a tiger's lair who anticipated the appearance of the beast any moment. Don't equate the sunjects of the analogy to the real thing though. It wasn't as if I was scared of her. But she was one woman who whacked me everytime I did something wrong like when i threw my temper or things which are unpleasing. I think she was worse than Sassy Girl. If you are thinking that my character is still less than desirable, please... it was much worse off in the past.

But that's all in the past now. She's moved on now. Apparently she's in a mental conundrum over this particular guy as can be seen clearly in her blog. I suddenly saw merit in our present situation when I saw that entry. Simply because I think I would have felt much worse if she was to confide to me as a friend about that guy when I still have feelings for her somehow. Now, that would have been heart wrenching to me...