I would stand in the shower all day and retain only consciousness of each and every drop of water splashing on my skin. Somehow, my body has become numb and indifferent to the sensation of cool for my faculties remain poised to being hot and flushed, as if in disdain.
I am sorely disappointed for the physical act of showering has failed to achieve the cleansing effect spiritually. Failed to remove. Remove the nitty and gritty, the angst, the ugly facets of life that I have seen in others and myself. I suppose this is a punishment for I have to live with this. Or is there really a promising sanctuary out there?
I spoke to a monk once. He said that in all of us, there is a temple, a sanctuary, an oasis of calm... no matter what we call it. It is a place that we can seek neither to access it by foot or by endeavour. Only by laboriously embarking on a spiritual pilgrimage can we ever hope to see it. It may always be there for all we know but somehow we end up bypassing it, round and round endlessly. It is only by transcending our current plane of spirituality can we ever hope of attaining the tranquility.
I need to find it. To end my confusion and this prevalent state of reigning chaos that seems like an neverending storm. Is the seeking of Calm and Serendipity ever going to be reconciled with the pursuit of worldly Ambitions? I am torn apart with my heart and mind in earnest disagreement.
There seems to be not a single issue in my life yet I live like a soul with a thousand woes. There are seemingly endless things to look forward to in my Life but I see no better than one who lost the gift of sight. Perhaps you are right, I just simply need an earnest slap across the jowl to help me emerge from my slumber that is filled with hideous visions and recurring nightmares.
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