Everything's not lost...Or is it?

I am struck with a profound sense of loss. And to top it up, i am at a loss of words to describe this. How's that?

This year hasn't exactly been kind to my social life. Firstly, i have effectively lost 2 friends. [I wouldn't really want to delve into exact details here...] Next came a double whammy that arrived in a whirlwind fashion.

"When are you leaving for Down Under?" *Shrugs shoulders, "At the end of May, the date isn't exactly fixed yet..." Honestly i saw the date approaching but I certainly didn't catch the approach taking me by surprise. And there Zhiwei was off, just like that. For 9 months, without much of a whimper and without much fanfare.

And yet another similar experience was waiting in store for me as i would feel for myself this morning. Random browses on her blog, some jovial jibes, one long conversation last night and i am now left alone, clutching the swirling sand in my hands. Not even a speck left for me. She sent one sms. [Not sure if you folks got it as well] For what it seem like eternity, i wondered if that chirpy sms was an attempt to convey a strong front. I seriously hope it wasn't and God willing, Marleen had already braced herself for the plunge.

Now would you have a look at that, that's 4 friends who have dived below my social radar just like that... If there's ever a time for me to feel keenly the loss, it must have been planned to be now. Right now.

I've seen my friends stepping into their next phase of their lives. Some with admirable gait and others with unsure footsteps. Right now, my role has been diminished to that of a backseater.

All i can do is watch and will them on...