My condition is a perplexing one whereby both the Specialist and the Physiotherapist have reflected to me that what they could do to ameliorate my condition is extremely skin deep. There seems to be a speed limit device hidden surreptitiously somewhere in my body. It's fine for me to walk, jump and to a certain extent, jog. Though the snapping sensation never fails to annoy me throughout my entire locomotion, there's little pain-I suspect this is due to my high pain threshold. However, once i "breach" the speed limit i.e. when i sprint, i never fail to be reduced to a limping wreck. It's incredulous and totally frustrating.
Possible treatment for this irritating condition? Surgery. But both my father and i rejected the possible notion of surgery outright. There was no question about it. If you think that we were held up by the exorbitant costs, i'm sorry to say we weren't. One thing to ponder about when you contemplate something irreversible like surgery is, what are the confirmed deliverables? That is, what can the surgeon promise me? The surgery is definitely invasive in nature. Imagine having to cut through a thick layer of thigh muscles just to suture an overly tight tendon. I don't have to be a doctor to realise that the overall tensile strength of my tendon would be drastically reduced. Scar tissue that will inevitably develop as a result of the suture is not mechanically structured to take great stress. And oh, did i mention that a long steel rod would have to be inserted in my left calf if i go for surgery so that it can correct the misalignment of my kneecap? Did i hear you go ouch?
In his long term of service so far, My dad has definitely seen many of his peers who developed service injuries, went for corrective surgery and then live to regret. The deliverables of the vaunted surgery as compared to what i will lose, is simply intangible and nebulous if you will allow me to say despite significant advances in the medical field today. I am able to do everything a normal person can do today albeit with pain and a tad of agony after that. I do not wish to end up as a person who is told by his surgeon after surgery," Sorry Mr Tan, i think you should refrain from running in the future..." I totally cannot accept that sort of outcome. My dad has been running since god knows when and he runs practically everyday. And i have inherited the "Everyday-i-must-run-if-not-i-will-feel-guilty syndrome from him.
Most importantly, i do not want to know that i will become a person with a certain degree of impairment after surgery. I cannot tolerate the fact that i can't run. Darn! I want to run...
The world is never fair...
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