Desecrated

My mind draws a blank,
A dearth of freedom,
Or an emptied soul?
Guidance i'm in search.

Nourishment is the essence,
What should i seek,
Company or Solitude?

Problem or mere pittance?
Unsure am i?
Undecisive i have become,
Family and friends,
I lean on.
Tide this over is my fervent wish

Crutches i have not,
yet hobbling steadfastly
Akin to a cripple i'm.

Worldly possessions i have,
Yearned by others he said.
Blind is the word,
Seemeth to seek endless,
Berate myself i did,
To no avail.

Kraken am i?
Thrashing mindlessly.
Brainless and defunct,
Dysfunctional and profaned.

Meticulous and neat,
Endless filth i see,
Unwashable on my naked hands.
Filth, i have profaned.
Cleanse my soul,
Eradicate my vices,
Drive my fears.
I'm awashed in a strange beach,
Beached looking forlorn.

Grow roots,
anchor me to sordid grounds.
Blasphemy!
Yet do i desire,
calm and stability.

Where birds fly,
Where concerns shatter,
Where i go.